you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
