I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
