I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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