can u get pink eye on your cock?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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