Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize