The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he puts the penis in happiness.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
