Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
