VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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