My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
