You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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