I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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