youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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