So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
