Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
