what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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