so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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