Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
