Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
