Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
