Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
