a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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