maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
