I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
