They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
