Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
