We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
