So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
