Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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