3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
