At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
zippers are such a cool invention
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
