Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Houston, we have a blender
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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