I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
