is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
