This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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