No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
