I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
