Don't you send me to vm
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
