after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
