Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
