My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
