I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
