you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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