eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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