Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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