this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
