This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
