Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
