Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Duck Duck Cougar?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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