He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
