No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
