How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
