I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
