Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hippo gnu deer
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
